Don’t Run With Scissors 5K – March 17, 2018

Mom always said don’t play ball in the house.  Wait.  That was the mom from The Brady Bunch.  But I’m sure at some point, knowing my mum, she said not to run with scissors.  Until a few years ago I didn’t run at all, much less with scissors.  Ah, the good old days.

Dark Kermit DRWS

We’ve done this race four times now.  There is always a huge turnout and everyone has a great time.  But the best part of this event is the artwork.  The race benefits the Visual Arts program at Sallas Mahone Elementary School.  Paul B. serves as both art teacher and race director extraordinaire.  I don’t think he gets a wink of sleep in the weeks leading up to the race.  Each mile marker gets a custom sign, painted by him, in honor of the sponsor.  The awards are painted by the students.  Of all the local races we do this is definitely one of our favorites.

After being left for dead at Gate last week, Joey was pretty confident that he would be faster than me.  I tried to downplay my concern but the truth is I was pretty sure he was right.  It had been a busy week at work and my brain was already looking ahead to the half marathon.

He was up with the chickens dogs Saturday morning.  I don’t know what possessed him, but it certainly didn’t possess me.  I laid in my warm, comfy bed until the last possible minute and scarfed down a granola bar on the way to the race.  Meanwhile, Mo Farah  made himself eggs and toast.  Did he save any for me? Pfft.

It was cold and kind of cloudy, so of course we took the MG.  “You’ll be warm after it’s finished,” Wonderboy declared.  “Of course I’ll be warm,” I thought.  “I’m a peri-menopausal woman.  I have hot flashes that could power the eastern seaboard.”

We chatted with some friends who were there and then it was “go time.” The race started and I fell in line with a large group of children and adults.  I wasn’t sure if Runkeeper and my watch had kissed and made up after their episode last week.  I didn’t trust it to work properly so I manually started Runkeeper myself, like some kind of caveman.

Joey had positioned himself ahead of the crowd I found myself stuck in, and I could see him beginning to pull away.  He wasn’t too far ahead, maybe 60-90 seconds, but I just couldn’t catch him.  We crossed over the highway, entering a neighborhood near the school.  The road had a few twists and turns and after a few minutes I lost sight of him.  It was just me and Tom Petty, running down a dream.  Or a 5K.  Or, whatever.

Tom hung out with me for a little while.  Things were going along pretty good, but I just wan’t feeling “it.”  I was a little tired and my hastily ingested granola bar wore off five minutes after I got in the car.  My time was okay but not on track for a PR.


As I approached the two-mile mark, I saw Joey up ahead. With just over a mile left, I wasn’t sure I would be able to catch up.  There was always the chance that he was getting tired, and then I could make my move.

We left the neighborhood and were back out on the road to the school.  I started adding a few seconds to each run interval, trying to close the gap.  He was about a minute ahead of me, but still going strong. It was the scrambled eggs, I just know it.  If I’d had another half a mile (or a real breakfast) I might have caught him, but I ran out of road.  He crossed the line about about 30 seconds ahead of me.

It would be a long day.

Me, when I realized I couldn’t catch Joey.

As luck would have it, a little cloud passed overhead not long after we finished and a few drops of rain fell.  The top was down on the MG, so someone-who-didn’t-make-me-eggs-and-toast had to run down the street to where the car was parked and put the top up.  What a shame.

I waited for a few minutes, then retrieved our jackets and went to find him.  He was all but finished when I got there.  The 1 mile fun run was about to start and the awards ceremony would follow.  Neither of us were in the running for anything, so we decided to call it a day and went home.

Next time, buddy.  Next time.  See what happens at the half…

As you may know, I participate in a group called Who I Run 4.  Runners are matched with children and adults who have special needs or health concerns.  I signed up a few years ago and was matched with an awesome little guy named Chasten.  This is the second year we have been able to hang out with him and his family for a little while.  We celebrated his little sister’s birthday while they were here!

Last year he barely came up to my shoulders, and this year he is almost as tall as I am!

He gave Joey and I a bracelet that he earned in basketball this season, and we will wear them with pride when we run for him.  The waiting list to be matched with a buddy is long, but it’s SO worth it.

The Details:

  • Overall Time: 39:58
  • Average Pace: 12:47/mile


  • Mile One:  13:02
  • Mile Two: 12:51
  • Mile Three: 12:38


Into the Groove (Madonna), I Won’t Back Down (Tom Petty), Never (Heart), Don’t Box Me In (Stewart Copeland), King of Pain (The Police), Running Down A Dream (Tom Petty), Tainted Love (Soft Cell), Mary Jane’s Last Dance (Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers), You Wreck Me (Tom Petty), Zombie Zoo (Tom Petty), Don’t Come Around Here No More (Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers), I Would Die 4 U (Prince)

Published by English Muffin Runs

Adventurer. Runner. Taking life one run at a time and living with Myasthenia Gravis along the way.

2 thoughts on “Don’t Run With Scissors 5K – March 17, 2018

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